Kiss me again,
Warm up my frostbitten lips,
Send heat waves through my body,
Until there’s a flood between my thighs.
Kiss me again,
[Trigger Warning: Self Harm]
Sometimes I feel like Humpty Dumpty,
Only instead of falling off a wall,
I fell off the wagon and into a pile of razor blades.
I want to explore you.
I want to conquer your body the way climbers conquer Everest.
I want to taste the crevice where your arm meets your shoulder,
Run my hands through the valleys of your stomach,
Your hips guiding them down like signposts that say, “touch me.”
Good days were the ones I couldn’t remember,
Waking up next to a body I didn’t know,
Drinking whiskey like coffee.
I know I’ll probably drown but I don’t care.
The excitement of seeing the strange fish that live at the bottom of the world,
Far outweighs the fear that I may never come back for air.
I feel the way the moon would if all the stars died,
Like I’m stuck in an endless sea of dark,
Floating out of my control,
Begging the sun to light up the path in front of my eyes.
Isn’t it silly, the way we cover ourselves in armor,
The way we carry shields across our hearts,
The way we expect our lovers to turn into enemies,
Instead of just promising each other not to take that first swing.
Someone opened the door to my darkroom,
Streams of light attacking the film I’d been so carefully preparing.
As I stared at ruined strips of plastic it hit me,
You and I were like a photograph.
I quit drinking coffee,
But I missed the warmth as it crawled down my throat and into my stomach,
Which is why I started drinking whiskey.
In a sprawling desert,
You’re my oasis.
I can see you from a mile away,
Distorted by the heat bearing down on me.