Hunger

As a woman, I feel like I’m told “Don’t eat that,” a lot.
But sometimes you get these cravings that you can’t satisfy with a healthier option.
So you’re left hungry,
Until you finally give in and take a bite of the thing that is off limits.
Twice, I craved you.
Twice, I fell in love with the taste of you.
You became my favorite flavor.
But society says you’re bad for me.
I’m supposed to love the taste of the food that’s already in my pantry,
Not yearn for what’s miles away.
But here I am,
Hungry and lonely,
Trying to find the words to tell you I’m in love.
I’m in love with you.
I’m in love with the way you bit my bottom lip when I kissed you,
And the way your chest felt against mine,
I’m in love with the way your cologne lingered in my car for days,
I wish I could still smell it.
You’ve been gone for awhile now,
And I’ve been hungry since before you left.
Because things ended before you left,
But not the kind of ending that’s final.
Or the even the kind of ending that leaves me sure of where we stand.
I don’t know where I stand with you.
Every time we talk,
It’s so hard for me not to tell you how I really feel,
Not to say that I can’t get that night out of my mind.
You know the one,
Where we walked on a dirt road,
And you told me a part of you never stopped loving me?
I wanted to tell you then,
That I felt the same way.
That hearing your voice for the first time in years,
Was like waking up to the smell of breakfast cooking on a Sunday morning,
When you’ve been practically dead to the world.
When you kissed me,
It was like a part of my soul had come back to life,
And I knew it wasn’t going to die again very easily.
Maybe that’s why months after saying goodbye,
Nothing I felt in that moment has faded.
I feel like I’m starving to death without you,
And I’m so afraid to tell you that.

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